bipolar much?

ichat with my mom about me applying to grad school (she's the only one conversing..)

now you know where i get my freak from.

i'm inexplicably attracted to tom colicchio

three words: sign. me. up.



here he is acoustically serenading me to "love is blind" by eve.

Things I Did Today

1) Lied to Starbucks. see below conversation:
-starbucks worker: what would you like?
-me: black tea latte, skim milk, does that have vanilla syrup in it?
-worker: no.
-me: does it have any syrup in it?
-worker: just the classic syrup.
-me: well can i get that sugar free?
-worker: (turns to ask other worker) (asks other worker) (gets negative response) no.
-me: well then i want sugar-free vanilla syrup.
[Keep in mind there is a really, really long line behind me and i'm holding it up]
-worker: (calls out my order) one tall sugar-free vanilla skinny black tea latte.
-other worker: (all confused) but...but... there isn't vanilla syrup in those... (thinks world is ending)
-worker: well, now there is.
-me: i'm diabetic.

i realize this is kind of messed up, but i needed to use this disease to cover my weirdness and infatuation for sugar-free syrup. good call on my part, right? right guys?



2) Invented a new language: Spanspeare. Equal parts Spanish, equal parts Shakespeare.
i.e.: "Donde art thou?"


that's about it for now.

You must teach me, George Michael. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh

Yes. Cera is in. Arrested Development has signed on for the movie deal. I'm kinda creepily obsessed with the proceedings of this thing. It's come to me stock piling frozen chocolate-covered bananas for appropriate movie snacking when the time is right.

Check it here

gimme

either of these... or both, whichever

Sarah Morrison on Jesus

this made me LOL
via ActLikeYouKnow

WARNING!

I watched two horrible movies (new releases) this weekend:

1) How To Lose Friends and Alienate People
2) Lakeview Terrace

Seriously, top 2 worst movies I've seen in a while, possibly ever. Just a heads up.

Post 300.

Sunday Morning Song... I Call Shotgun - Ride wit me (Nelly Cover)

this made my day and it's only 10am

Oh, America...

I shot out of bed this morning on wisdom teeth post-op day 2, aka the most boring day of my life, achey and starving. I had big, big plans for my dad to get me a Coldstone Creamery milkshake around 2pm. Although it's only 8:15am, I'm a certified freak and started to Google my milkshake options. To my misfortune, I came across the Coldstone milkshake nutrition facts.

Not only am I both angry and scarred by this, I now cannot get one and enjoy it (sober). A Small (I'm sorry, "Like it") Cake 'n Shake is 1140 calories!!!! That is like 2 Big Mac Meals or something. And the smalls ARE small. I could suck that down during the opening credits of Friends. I am both happy and sad that I looked at this. Happy I prevented this from entering my body, sad because my upper-class chain milkshake dreams are shattered (I don't do McDonald's).

I think I'm going to go for a somewhat healthier option. Starbucks drive-thru, here I come. And by 'I', I mean my loving father.

Best New-ish Song Out right now (According to me, and everyone)

Nothing to Worry About, by Peter Bjorn and John. From their new album "Living Thing" (not out yet)
LOVE this song!

22

..just cause it's applicable.

Hold Time - M.Ward

I've been listening to M.Ward's new recently released album, Hold Time, today as I'm potatoed on the couch. And get this-- a girl I know in NYC has tickets to his sold out show in NY tonight that she isn't using and offered them to me. Can't go :(


Stars of Leo

Sans Wisdom

My co-worker Enrique said I look like a member of the Crips gang cause my icepack looks like a blue bandana. badass.

also sans makeup don't judge

The Truth

"When you're unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. And you get to take yourself oh so very seriously. Your truly happy people, which is to say, your people who truly LIKE themselves, they don't think about themselves very much. Your unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence."

Longchamp Spring 2009 Ad Campaign (aka Sex)

Leather Longchamps + Blonde Hair + Red Lips = Inspirational Babe Status.
God I wish I was Kate Moss. Or just had her killer bod.

God I wish I could afford more than the red Longchamp Pliage I bought in Paris and never use because everyone and their sorostitute sister has it.

Long story short --> I <3 this campaign.

Resexssion

Nothing make you feel better than reading about other people's issues. Here NY Mag brings you the true story of the laid off, stuck with his ex, domestic abuser. Oh the good old days when sex wasn't sad.

Check it here.

Sign my Snuggie-Lovin Ass up

Make that Irish Coffee.

"In response to the stunning public embrace of the warm and cuddly Snuggie™, the SnuggiePubCrawl.com Team is hosting the first-ever Snuggie™ Pub Crawl in New York, NY. Even though it's just a blanket with sleeves, we're sure that you'll enjoy a winter evening spent drinking with friends and the Snuggie™."


Me and my G-Mom are so hittin this up.

love at first sight

So I was reading about these babies online today and they were really just calling my name. I love sneakers but i never actually buy them for MYSELF, ya know? but something about these. anyway, i bought them.

"liberty fabric, blazer hi premium" in sneaker lingo. i got them at Opening Ceremony, which surprisingly is directly right outside my office, and directly across the street from my friend Chris' new loft. i must have walked by it 1001020923 times.

Apparently they just came out in America. either way, love them, even if they look like grandma sheets. and my sneaker-savvy friend who has good sneaker taste approves, not that his opinion matters too much :)

for more details click here and scroll down a bit --> high snobiety

Just to kick start that diet of yours

I consumed about 5000 plant lice on Friday. And I only drank 1 beer. Grrrrrreat.

In an NYT article, E.J. Levy finds that the The F.D.A. actually condones a certain percentage of “natural contaminants” in our food supply — meaning, among other things, bugs, mold, rodent hairs and maggots.


For example:

1. Tomato juice may average “10 or more fly eggs per 100 grams [the equivalent of a small juice glass] or five or more fly eggs and one or more maggots.”

2. Canned mushrooms may have “over 20 or more maggots of any size per 100 grams of drained mushrooms and proportionate liquid”

3. Just 10 grams of hops could have as many as 2,500 plant lice.

I'm honestly eating only pretzels for the next 10 days.

Why I Am Quitting Twitter.

I posted a picture of a famous pizza restaurant yesterday to my Twitter status from my iPhone, and I just went to click the link from my twitter page now using a real computer. This is the picture that was linked to my twitter status. It is not of the restaurant but of a stuffed animal Ninja Turtle wearing sunglasses. I've never taken this picture? WTF twitter. I think I quit you now.

S, is that you?

S, I seriously thought that was you (or your triplet) for a sec. At Barbie's 50th Anniversary show @ Fashion Week.



Here are more attendees. How CREEPY is that child (?) on the left. Definitely having nightmares of goblins tonight.

It's all so clear now!

www.thisiswhyyourefat.com

The Best Chocolate Chip Cookie I Have Ever Had.

I was gallivanting around DUMBO today and I stumbled inside a Jacques Torres chocolate shop, which I have heard of, but have never been to. Didn't even know it was in DUMBO - there are 4 locations: Amsterdam, NYC (Hudson St. and DUMBO) and Traverse City, Michigan (random and I don't think they deserve one).

Anyway, I got a chocolate chip cookie, and it was by far the best chocolate chip cookie I have ever had in my life. It was like 85% chocolate, 15% cookie dough. And they heat them A LOT so they're all melty. I definitely rode home on the subway with chocolate all over my face. And also I have the song "Disturbia" by Rihanna in my head but I've been substituting "nausea" in place of disturbia because I feel sick. I'm not making that up.

this was awesome. but i still hate short people.

-a

I made you a V-day card

woopsies

at least there's one thing good and cute in my life







and that's google's "Google" of the day






xo

Miscellaneous Smile-Inducers

My friend Dave is really good at subject lines of e-mails. Here's two from today. "Tard" is his favorite because after the reply, the subject turns into "Re: tard." Soooo mature.





This is the easiest quiz I've ever taken, found on Facebook, obvious answer is ROOT BEER!!! Which is really hard to find in New York, ugh.


Aren't Maggie and Jake the cutest sibs everrrrr.
If this was the South, I'd be all for them reproducing.


So I've been working with this woman (or so I thought) trafficing radio spots. She kind of keeps messing up... and is not very pleasant to work with. I looked her up on Facebook after I saw she was a Junior Associate, and this was the picture that came up. Even if it's not her, I immediately felt better. Woof.


Misc.:






Ta-Da! The End. Goodnight and good luck.

Higher Love

Newmindspace - the people that give you mass pillow fights, subway-ridin-skivvy-wearers, and Central Park tricycle races are bringing you Higher Love this V-day.

From their website: Higher Love will be an ephemeral, massive art installation in downtown Manhattan. It will be unveiled on the main street of our favorite neighborhood in New York at dawn on Valentine's Day, Saturday February 14th 2009.

I'm going to go ahead and say, this "art exhibition" is a conglomeration of stoners smoking purple and pink hearted blunts which will eventually culminate into a Bob Marley sing-a-long to Turn Your Lights Down Low. Just a guess.

It's come to this...

My motha is trying to set me up. I'm a sad excuse for a human being. And yes, I stalk people. We all do, don't be hatin. Welcome to the wonderful world of Google.

Look, S...

I take VitalJuice daily newsletters very seriously.

Mark it Down, Call it Lover's Day

Hello. The point of this blog post is to wish you a happy early Valentine's Day and to get you feeling all warm inside prematurely.


Actually, Tunde Adebimpe-- lead singer of TV On The Radio, Brooklyn resident, NYU grad, and star of Rachel Getting Married-- would like to wish you a Happy Early Valentine's Day as well. This blog post was his idea; he's laying in my bed next to me right now. We actually met on the L train, one thing lead to another...

Just kidding!

Anyway here's TV On the Radio's "Lover's Day" off their new album, Dear Science. Quite possibly one of the most sexual songs of all time. Play it for your loved one, assuming you have a loved one. If you don't (like me), play it for yourself and think of all the wonderful spontaneous nights that are in your future because you don't have a dead-weight significant other attached to your hip!! Shazaam.

Rotten Potatoes

Don't EVER see "The Class". I was literally about to go catatonic on Angelika's ass after sitting through two hours of french subtitles. Rotten Tomatoes did me seriously wrong.

gimme

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons...

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
by T.S. Eliot

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair -
(They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!")
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin -
(They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!")
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all -
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all -
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all -
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?...

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep ... tired ... or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet - and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: "I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all" -
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: "That is not what I meant at all."
That is not it, at all.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor -
And this, and so much more? -
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
"That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all."

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous -
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old ... I grow old...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Revolutionary Ho.

That's what they call my momma. So I saw the supposive Oscar-sweeper tonight and I have to say it didn't really do any sweeping. I did come home severely depressed though so I'm shouting this movie out to anyone wanting to asphyxiate themselves with sadness. Maybe because it hit too close to home with the whole having kids, settling down, getting married and being permanently trapped in a life you hate kind of way. Sorry Mom and Dad, don't be thinking grandkids are coming anytime soon. Or ever.

Kate - your performance was stellar, Leo - did someone say Titanic? Overall Movie Rating - perfect for your inner sadomasochist v-day.

Not that I should ever fancy myself a movie critic, being that SuperTroopers rocked my cinema-watchin world.

Music Mania

Currently watching the Grammys and I saw Kid Rock perform. White trash must really do it for me cause he's got some sexytime vibes all up on him. Which then got K and I thinking about my top five "least likely to be sexy but is fly as a mo-fo" male figures. In order of highest attraction level is the following:

1. Daniel Day-Lewis - um yeah, DDL makes grease look good.
2. Lil Wayne
3. Naveen Andrews (Sayid on Lost. Daaaaaaayum.)
4. Kid Rock
5. Eminem (minus the fiddy pounds he's gained in post 2006)

Word.

Also - Lily Allen plays a free concert at the Bowery Ballroom this Thursday. Key word there: FREE. Who's bravin the teeny-boppers with me?

Sunday Morning (er Night) Playlist

Nobody knows me at all - The weepies
Rods & Cones - Blue Man Group - quality percussions. check it below
Camilo - State Radio
A Sorta Fairytale (live)- Tori Amos
On the Radio - Regina S.
Technologic - Daft Punk Musique Vol 1

Free of me.

It's 55 degrees in NYC today. I'm a happy chica. Minus the three hours of sleep and atrocious hangover plaguing my brain.

J. Radin came out with some killer tunes this 08 and my roomie reacquainted my ear with him. Here's free of me

Update your decor, bring some "change" to your place

You can thank me later.

Check it here

These Are... The Days of our Lives

get excited!!

I'm getting my wisdom teeth out in two weeks and have no idea what to expect, so naturally I've been youtubing the procedure.



I like this guy's style of vlogging his "journey" or whatever, and I've decided that I am going to do the same and video tape my before & after with my trusty flip video cam. Get excited, fan club!!!!

FUCK YOU STARBUCKS - a cupcake review

Starbucks started selling cupcakes since the start of the new year, and I had a couple of staredowns with them through that damn glass while waiting in line, but my willpower didn't let me make a move. I finally tried the vanilla a few weeks ago and it was whatever, nothing to waste 340 calories on again, nothing to write home about.

But THIS. This, this red velvet cupcake with cream cheese icing, good lord. 300 calories is not even that bad, that's like a grande latte, or like 1/4th of one of their hot chocolates. I got it for dinner tonight and ate it with vanilla frozen yogurt (cake + ice cream is my favorite food, of all time, forever and always) and it was D-I-V-I-N-E. Dare I say holy, really. Magical. Touched by an angel.

HOT CHOCOLATE FESTIVAL

Yes. Yes. Yes. Beer and Passion Fruit Cream Hot Chocolate. Come on now.

I am so hittin this up. Saturday was opening night and this shiz ends on the 18th with Banana Peel HC. A new flava each day. For all of the sweet cocoa concoctions check it here

The City Bakery
3 West 18th Street

Suckas

I like to think that my advertising degree, which took me a painful 4 years to complete, has a bit of a leg up on the super twin's 5 year landscape architecture degree due to this economy. That's right folks, she's till in college and will be failing to get a job come May. So thank you inflation rates, credit debt, and the Iraqi war for this recession as I finally have something to feel superior about.


Let's try and forget that come the time she does happen to land a job, her starting salary will be twice the amount I will be making in five years. Until then, say hello to the Golden Arches Amers.

Yowza

I heard this was made at the request of Jessica Simpson.

oooooh burrrrrrnnnnn.

Cardinals? Steelers? Eagles? Jets? Beavers?

Why watch the Superbowl when you can re-watch Vicky Christina Barcelona?
Fine feature film. Here ya go, I embedded it.

A's Sunday Song

or more like life song. God, i love this song. The lyrics are so interesting and use so much alliteration ("tongue-tied lightning", "big city blinking", "disposable dixie cup drinker"). it also is heartbreakingly beautiful-- it "conveys the human impulse we have to want to hurt the people we love." also about drinking and loneliness. one of my favorite songs of all time.


Wilco - I am Trying to Break Your Heart

Preemptive Sunday Song

Kinda preemptive, since it is 2:00am Sunday morning. I'm currently in love with some real weird music aka electronic-y type songs. Current obsession below:



Sienna makes it so much better:



- via Layercake

Back to basic

Best find ever - laptop in the trash. A and I use to take the trash out at my old agency when we worked there together. Yes, menial tasks were delegated to the newbies. Or should I say women. So I basically trash picked myself a sweet Gateway laptop.

This thing has been sitting on my desk for the longest time and I never once turned it on thinking that no one would surely throw out a perfectly working computer. I was wrong.

I did some pretty exciting stuff this weekend.

1. Twisted, Jived, and Shimmied myself silly at Home Sweet Home.

2. Ate delish carrot, raisin waffles at Kitchenette. Yummers.

3. Decided to take the lovely sport of rock climbing up. I was a total monkey as a child and climbed anything worth getting to the top of. Thus, I participated in Rock Climbing Camp via the girl-scout-a-licious Camp Mosey Woods (good times c. ellen). I thought I was the bomb dig. And to this day I still believe that my skillz have never left me, regardless of the fact that my 80 pound frame as a 10 year old had everything to do with my ability to scale cliffs. Let's just say I'm not 80 pounds anymore... my guns better be able to overcompensate for my ass.

I have to work tomorrow. It's Sunday people, God's day of rest for Christ sake. Shoot me now please.

Belay on my friends.