broke(n)

so i've always been pretty broke, but this week I'm ESPECIALLY broke. Which, I can live with. I'm just calling living off of one Luna bar a day, one light and fit yogurt and possibly a pb&j for dinner (the sandwich, not the band; tho possibly just the band if I end up not being able to afford the sandwich. we'll see) me "going on a diet."

but, the reason why I'm broke is because I'm brokEN. which kinda pisses me off, almost as much as A not wanting to go see my

 ex-notboyfriendbutiguesswewerekindadating's band, play tonight at Piano's.  j/k A, it pisses me off more that I'm broken.

So, backstory:  Two weeks into me moving to NYC, A, S, A's co-workers and I went out for a night on the town.  So everything was great; great laughs, great convos, great bourbon, great pizza along the way, and then all the sudden I was on the ground in hysterics with a broken collarbone.  Apparently, one of the coworkers either tackled me or tripped me or something. It doesn't really matter how it happened. bottom line is I was broken, badly, and it sucked. 

Anyway, I couldn't work for a while (obviously, needing surgery and such) and now I'm feelin' the bank account pain.  So this is my entertainment for the week/weekend:  

p.s. those cigs were free. I got them when i went home this past wkend. (I had an appt w. the surgeon) philly bars l-o-v-e giving out free cigs, which is why I'll always love philly bars. xox

seven (7)

player.

just because i don't hate you doesn't mean i like you

so i think that at first thought, boys would think i'd be a really good wedding date, then they think about it a little more, and realize i'd probably get very drunk and close talk with their grandfather and older cousins and then drunk dial an exboyfriend in the corner and then disappear. so i'm often invited to weddings and then disinvited. but anyways. that and i openly hate a lot of boys that aren't dave thompson. and they know it.

i sure know how to pick em

That dude in the yellow is my ex-boyfriend. He moved out to LA to become an actor. Yesterday, he won some kind of patio furniture set on The Price is Right. He made it.  

When's your birthday again? July something right?

A-

I'm getting this for you for your birthday. and by getting this for you for your birthday I mean checking it out from the Brooklyn Library and wrapping it in the comics section of the newspaper. Maybe I'll throw in a mixtape. If you're REALLY lucky I'll go without my daily Luna bar and buy you a shot of house vodka, we'll see.

boots and harem pants go together like toasters and bathtubs

harem pants = vomit
boots + harem pants = PV (projectile vomit) which, i would know.

Why Twitter is better than Facebook: Part 1

These are just 4 of the ELEVEN continuous pick 5 categories that this chick posted on April 16 between 10:40 and 11:19pm. The rest included Pick 5 Disney Characters and Pick 5 Favorite Cartoons Growing up.  Do people really think others CARE about this stuff. Ok, you like the Flyers, all you gotta do is list it right there in your interests and I'm sure your friends will love to read that about you while they are curiously getting to know you through your personal profile. But to clutter up my homepage against my will?? no, no. I've already blocked 3 people for updating their stati too much; and now this?  I'm pretty sure I de-friended her around 11:52 that night. ugh

AD

thanks A I'll take it from here

Ok hi. 

so along with that fine lil into I thought I'd give a little run-down of my life thus far, you know, the interesting shtuff, so the readers out there know a little more about me other than some foods I enjoy and (not) my favorite color.. here it goes 

-I rode horses competitively for several years. During high school the lady I rode with took me into her home and I basically became part of her family. I left my own family behind. She eventually bought me a horse. She then kicked me out of the house because her alcoholic husband was hitting on me. This was sad for the lot of us. But mostly my horse Fifi because Saly sold her, and I'm pretty sure she was then turned into glue :(

-After I got kicked out, my real parents still thought I was at Saly's on the wkends. I wasn't. I was embarking on my replacement passion; alcohol. 

-College: I was supposed to go to Drexel University for business. Had a roommate, went to orientation, everything was set. At the last minute my dad said we couldn't afford it. He drove me up to Penn State and dropped me off on the corner of Beaver Ave and Locust Ln, literally. I found an apt where I slept a foot away from some sr. chick and next door to two jr dudes, one of whom only spoke with "meeps" not words.  I ate mostly pizza and chz steaks and gained 13 lbs.

-College: I got into a little trouble at my then job. Cops, cuffs, but luckily no time in the slammer. Just some pretty steep fines and community service where I had to clean up after the 4th of July fireworks. I still remember what I wore that day, and the stories I heard from legit criminals who were in the fields with me. scccarryy. I've never gone to watch fireworks since. 

-College: Needed a new job so I got one where I wore tiny orange shorts and tube socks. Applied as a joke with a friend. Ended up working there for 2 years. Don't regret it. Plus I pretty much perfected the art of hula hooping. 

-okay nothing really that exciting has happened since really, and this is getting long, and A is yelling at me for not posting quick enough. 

-Graduated moved home with Dad. (he had just gotten re-married to this real rich chick who I LOVE, mostly bc she leaves me alone and bought us all gigantic house with a pool) So I lived there for a while, worked at a bar, applied for jobs and boozed A LOT. thenicrashedmycar(drunk)andmovedtonewyork

AD

an ADdition!

In order to revv up this blog, which has been in a downward spiral for a few weeks, I am proud to introduce my good buddy AD as a new contributer to Sohosaurus.

Here's a little about AD:
-She likes to look like she rides motorcycles
-She is a recent NY transplant via Philadelphia, which is why she is now allowed to write on Sohosaurus.
-You can follow her on Twitter - @Alixzandra
-I think her favorite color is black
-She LOVES chicken waldorf salad and eats it 4 times a week
-We share a similar love for Luna Bars
-We took Buddhism class together and both almost failed it. Bad karma.

Anyway, now that I'm rambling, WELCOME AD. You 'kin do it! (copyright dunkin donuts)

listen & learn

who wants to sit by my bedside and read this to me?

b/c i'm pretty much too lazy to read lately

Poke Her Face Trifecta

Kanye, Common, and Kid Cudi spent some serious time laying down these tracks. Youtube video is hurting but download this biotch off of K to Yay's website here and sing my praise.

That's right, ghettofied slang up in hur. Cran-Grape. Drank of champions. Whoot Whoot! LaSaaaaaaaaaaaaaarah

just when i thought i couldn't hate Heidi Montag more

...it turns out she's a jesus freak.


i know this because i follow her on twitter (about to stop though). See below, her recent tweets:




especially funny how she posts God tweets to Perez Hilton.


www.twitter.com/heidimontag

APRIL F-ING FOOLS

Biotches. What's even more disturbing than this blog being fineto is the fact that some countries have an illegal drinking age. Say WHAT?


The saddest world map eva.

Bad News...

Hey Readers,

I have bad news for you. Due to lack of imaginative juices, time, and generally uninspired lives -- Sohosaurus will no longer exist after today. This is the last post.

Please keep is in a tiny piece of your heart, as we are now deceased to the blog world. I'd like to have the Internet over for a party to celebrate the life of Sohosaurus, but that's kind of impossible.

XOXO
A&S



































obviously kidding, April Fools!! I have way too much time on my hands to not have a blog. I promise more blog posts in the future.