..and that's how Oprah killed my mother.

(To preface this, I asked my mom what I should get her and my dad for Christmas. This is the exact convo that followed)

My Mom: We don't want you to buy us a thing.
Write us a poem or letter or make us a card.

Me: write you a letter? that's weird

My Mom: well, Oprah recommends it as a nice present to someone.

Me: if Oprah told you to jump off of a bridge, would you do it?

My Mom: Probably.



-A

Awesome.

I'm a twin. When I say this, the next question people always ask is if we're identical. That's really a question I can't anwser as the doctor that delivered was basically a crackhead and never took blood tests. I always say that we are, it sounds cooler.

So my sister is like some freak of nature. She graduated high school with a 4.1 or something GPA. She studied for thirty minutes for AP tests while I studied 3 hours and still received a worse grade. She was captain of her track team, basketball team, and maybe soccer team. She won numerous scholarships upon graduation of highschool. Went to college and schooled half the people in her class. She's graduating in the top three of an intensive 5-year Landscape Architechture program. Her initials even spell her m-fing name. Can we say gifted?

And now the biotch just won a scholarship to go to Mexico City. What? Who's giving these kind of scholarships away to people who don't need them. This girl is like God's love child. This severely makes me regret the amount of money spent on her Christmas present.

I'm literally steaming with major jeal.

(Proud of you. Much love Ame.)
- S