the dud avocado

currently 1/2 way thru this and lemme tell you, it is excellent.

check it out here

this song is my jam on toast, with a layer of butter.

Q: Why am I still awake?

A: I live next to a kid majoring in "musical composition"

This rots.

I'm about to throw myself against his window, two favorable outcomes can result:

a. my brain is ruptured, falling into snooze-worthy comma

b. the b-minor note which results from the thud of my body hitting glass might just be the last piece to his lyrical puzzle.

Save me sandman. And/or Robitussin with Codeine.

Ode to P-Patties

Is it sorta odd that I've been having cravings that change daily? It's like I'm newly pregnant two hours out of each day. Yesterday - The soy chai latte - water removed. Today - the york peppermint pattie.

And holy mother of jesus do these things really do it for me. I'll happily trade 2.5 grams of fat per serving for the delectable bliss this chocolate wonder bar gives me. F coffee, Ppatties are where life should be going. (please remind me of this post in two weeks when I start complaining about gaining 5 pounds)

S

thank you awkward 7th grade years

Sohophilayorkasaurus?

A,

I'm down. Different cities, new experiences, same depression. I kid.

Let's do it.

PS. The red hair compliments your overbite. I too dyed... ging' is all the rage.

please

S,

I want to bring this back.

i think it'd be good for us..... plus people miss it.


-A


(you haven't seen me in a while, this is my most recent pic!)

something to think about

Perhaps a person gains by accumulating obstacles. The more obstacles set up to prevent happiness from appearing, the greater the shock when it does appear, just as the rebound of a spring will be all the more powerful the greater the pressure that has been exerted to compress it. Care must be taken, however, to select large obstacles, for only those of sufficient scope and scale have the capacity to lift us out of context and force life to appear in an entirely new and unexpected light.

For example, should you litter the floor and tabletops of your room with small objects, they constitute little more than a nuisance, an inconvenient clutter that frustrates you and leaves you irritable; the petty is mean. Cursing, you step around the objects, pick them up, knock them aside.

Should you, on the other hand, encounter in your room a nine thousand pound granite boulder, the surprise it evokes, the extreme steps that must be taken to deal with it, compel you to see with new eyes. Difficulties illuminate existence, but they must be fresh and of high quality.

Conversations with Enemies

going along with A's post kinda but mostly not at all:

my friend's band Conversations with Enemies is playing in bushwick friday at Goodbye Blue Monday and at Piano's in manhattan on saturday. youS should go. i know i am and i ll most likely be able to convince at least one of my 3 friends (so far) in new york to come with me. (seriously guys, it'll be fun) 

but yea, they re pretty good check them out here . they sing about zombies and shit which is a lot cooler than you d think. plus zombies are really sophisticated and "in" right now. proof via new york post's review on my next read as soon as it gets re-stocked at my store: 

i don't know which i m more excited for; the show friday or reading the book. well, on second thought, the show also involves booze, so probably that...

Conversations with Strangers

On my redeye flight from Vegas to JFK last night, or yesterday morning, at 1am, I sat next to some skinny guy with a big nose in his mid-twenties. i had the middle seat, he had the aisle, and our window seat didn't come until later. He was a talker, which is not conducive to redye flights, and our convo went as follows:

talker: if the window seat never comes, are you still going to sit in the center?

me: no. i'll move.

talker: ok, good, cause if you didn't that'd be weird. can i put my feet on you?

me: umm.. no.. what?

talker: so why were you in vegas?

me: i went to meet my friends from college, blah blah blah..

talker: do you have any crazy pictures on that iphone of vegas?

(i flip to the picture of my friends peeing in a stairwell, then decided i shouldn't show him)

talker: maybe by the time we're flying over kansas i can get you to show it to me. did you lose any money gambling?

me: not really, i don't have money to gamble, i'm poor. will you wake me up when the snack cart comes by?

talker: maybe you should save some of those snacks for your dinner next week.

me: why were you in vegas?

talker: business... i work for hbo sports and had to go to a boxing match.

me: (bored) oh neat. ----fake fall asleep-----

flight goes by, we awkwardly graze knees, he awkwardly puts his head on my shoulder to sleep, i sit with my arms crossed... plane lands.. i offer him gum.. he accepts.. i am not in the mood to talk and avoid him completely... as we are exiting plane:

talker: so are you gonna want your gum back?
me: nope.


no idea what his name was or anything but it was a somewhat strange 4 hours of my life.

on a more positive note

she's wonderful. sad i missed this show.

the drunks talking at the end of this clip kinda ruin it, just end it early ;)

Lissy Trullie truly sucks

i've seen this chick open for the virgins twice now and each time the most intriguing thing about it has been the fact that her hands are the freakiest things i have ever seen. LOOK at these. they look like alien tentacles or something.

so she's been gaining a lot of positive press lately which really irks me considering the music is pretty terrible. i mean, just because you're an ex-model/lesbo who has recently been featured on sophomore's site and hanging with cory kennedy so much she's blogging about you does not give you an vip access pass to stardom, does it? 

and on top of all this she's a real jerk.  when i saw her last at johnny brenda's, my friend mike was outside smoking after the set and the band was out there so he asked them a question, or was saying congrats, or something and she completely ignored him to the point where he was offended. and mike doesn't get offended easily.  seriously? you were playing johnny brenda's, not MSG and your biggest (only) fans in the place were step-sister brittany, cousin randy and the rest of the 'trullie' gang who were annoyingly singing along to your crappy lyrics abt chicks and taking rapid photos the whole time.

lame.

broke(n)

so i've always been pretty broke, but this week I'm ESPECIALLY broke. Which, I can live with. I'm just calling living off of one Luna bar a day, one light and fit yogurt and possibly a pb&j for dinner (the sandwich, not the band; tho possibly just the band if I end up not being able to afford the sandwich. we'll see) me "going on a diet."

but, the reason why I'm broke is because I'm brokEN. which kinda pisses me off, almost as much as A not wanting to go see my

 ex-notboyfriendbutiguesswewerekindadating's band, play tonight at Piano's.  j/k A, it pisses me off more that I'm broken.

So, backstory:  Two weeks into me moving to NYC, A, S, A's co-workers and I went out for a night on the town.  So everything was great; great laughs, great convos, great bourbon, great pizza along the way, and then all the sudden I was on the ground in hysterics with a broken collarbone.  Apparently, one of the coworkers either tackled me or tripped me or something. It doesn't really matter how it happened. bottom line is I was broken, badly, and it sucked. 

Anyway, I couldn't work for a while (obviously, needing surgery and such) and now I'm feelin' the bank account pain.  So this is my entertainment for the week/weekend:  

p.s. those cigs were free. I got them when i went home this past wkend. (I had an appt w. the surgeon) philly bars l-o-v-e giving out free cigs, which is why I'll always love philly bars. xox

seven (7)

player.

just because i don't hate you doesn't mean i like you

so i think that at first thought, boys would think i'd be a really good wedding date, then they think about it a little more, and realize i'd probably get very drunk and close talk with their grandfather and older cousins and then drunk dial an exboyfriend in the corner and then disappear. so i'm often invited to weddings and then disinvited. but anyways. that and i openly hate a lot of boys that aren't dave thompson. and they know it.

i sure know how to pick em

That dude in the yellow is my ex-boyfriend. He moved out to LA to become an actor. Yesterday, he won some kind of patio furniture set on The Price is Right. He made it.  

When's your birthday again? July something right?

A-

I'm getting this for you for your birthday. and by getting this for you for your birthday I mean checking it out from the Brooklyn Library and wrapping it in the comics section of the newspaper. Maybe I'll throw in a mixtape. If you're REALLY lucky I'll go without my daily Luna bar and buy you a shot of house vodka, we'll see.

boots and harem pants go together like toasters and bathtubs

harem pants = vomit
boots + harem pants = PV (projectile vomit) which, i would know.

Why Twitter is better than Facebook: Part 1

These are just 4 of the ELEVEN continuous pick 5 categories that this chick posted on April 16 between 10:40 and 11:19pm. The rest included Pick 5 Disney Characters and Pick 5 Favorite Cartoons Growing up.  Do people really think others CARE about this stuff. Ok, you like the Flyers, all you gotta do is list it right there in your interests and I'm sure your friends will love to read that about you while they are curiously getting to know you through your personal profile. But to clutter up my homepage against my will?? no, no. I've already blocked 3 people for updating their stati too much; and now this?  I'm pretty sure I de-friended her around 11:52 that night. ugh

AD

thanks A I'll take it from here

Ok hi. 

so along with that fine lil into I thought I'd give a little run-down of my life thus far, you know, the interesting shtuff, so the readers out there know a little more about me other than some foods I enjoy and (not) my favorite color.. here it goes 

-I rode horses competitively for several years. During high school the lady I rode with took me into her home and I basically became part of her family. I left my own family behind. She eventually bought me a horse. She then kicked me out of the house because her alcoholic husband was hitting on me. This was sad for the lot of us. But mostly my horse Fifi because Saly sold her, and I'm pretty sure she was then turned into glue :(

-After I got kicked out, my real parents still thought I was at Saly's on the wkends. I wasn't. I was embarking on my replacement passion; alcohol. 

-College: I was supposed to go to Drexel University for business. Had a roommate, went to orientation, everything was set. At the last minute my dad said we couldn't afford it. He drove me up to Penn State and dropped me off on the corner of Beaver Ave and Locust Ln, literally. I found an apt where I slept a foot away from some sr. chick and next door to two jr dudes, one of whom only spoke with "meeps" not words.  I ate mostly pizza and chz steaks and gained 13 lbs.

-College: I got into a little trouble at my then job. Cops, cuffs, but luckily no time in the slammer. Just some pretty steep fines and community service where I had to clean up after the 4th of July fireworks. I still remember what I wore that day, and the stories I heard from legit criminals who were in the fields with me. scccarryy. I've never gone to watch fireworks since. 

-College: Needed a new job so I got one where I wore tiny orange shorts and tube socks. Applied as a joke with a friend. Ended up working there for 2 years. Don't regret it. Plus I pretty much perfected the art of hula hooping. 

-okay nothing really that exciting has happened since really, and this is getting long, and A is yelling at me for not posting quick enough. 

-Graduated moved home with Dad. (he had just gotten re-married to this real rich chick who I LOVE, mostly bc she leaves me alone and bought us all gigantic house with a pool) So I lived there for a while, worked at a bar, applied for jobs and boozed A LOT. thenicrashedmycar(drunk)andmovedtonewyork

AD

an ADdition!

In order to revv up this blog, which has been in a downward spiral for a few weeks, I am proud to introduce my good buddy AD as a new contributer to Sohosaurus.

Here's a little about AD:
-She likes to look like she rides motorcycles
-She is a recent NY transplant via Philadelphia, which is why she is now allowed to write on Sohosaurus.
-You can follow her on Twitter - @Alixzandra
-I think her favorite color is black
-She LOVES chicken waldorf salad and eats it 4 times a week
-We share a similar love for Luna Bars
-We took Buddhism class together and both almost failed it. Bad karma.

Anyway, now that I'm rambling, WELCOME AD. You 'kin do it! (copyright dunkin donuts)

listen & learn

who wants to sit by my bedside and read this to me?

b/c i'm pretty much too lazy to read lately

Poke Her Face Trifecta

Kanye, Common, and Kid Cudi spent some serious time laying down these tracks. Youtube video is hurting but download this biotch off of K to Yay's website here and sing my praise.

That's right, ghettofied slang up in hur. Cran-Grape. Drank of champions. Whoot Whoot! LaSaaaaaaaaaaaaaarah

just when i thought i couldn't hate Heidi Montag more

...it turns out she's a jesus freak.


i know this because i follow her on twitter (about to stop though). See below, her recent tweets:




especially funny how she posts God tweets to Perez Hilton.


www.twitter.com/heidimontag

APRIL F-ING FOOLS

Biotches. What's even more disturbing than this blog being fineto is the fact that some countries have an illegal drinking age. Say WHAT?


The saddest world map eva.

Bad News...

Hey Readers,

I have bad news for you. Due to lack of imaginative juices, time, and generally uninspired lives -- Sohosaurus will no longer exist after today. This is the last post.

Please keep is in a tiny piece of your heart, as we are now deceased to the blog world. I'd like to have the Internet over for a party to celebrate the life of Sohosaurus, but that's kind of impossible.

XOXO
A&S



































obviously kidding, April Fools!! I have way too much time on my hands to not have a blog. I promise more blog posts in the future.

DON'T Gimme

Boxy bags = Oog-lay

spam momvo

background: i apply to like 20 jobs a day, and scheduled an interview for monday, but after doing some google work i found out it was a scam of sorts (not advertising/marketing, but commission based sales, etc).. i won't go into it but heres a momvo. (mom convo)


being kidnapped would be kinda fun honestly. an adventure!

Song for the Mozz

So I got to chill home today instead of working. 5am work days are to die for. Literally.

Thus I've watched my fair share of daytime TV today and it so happens that the media planning deparment for JCP happened to buy a fuckload of 30 sec spots during As The World Turns. They are turning that 2009 JCPenney Commercial that aired a ridic amount of time during the Oscars every minute. Point being, I've become addicted to the the backtrack. For your hearing pleasure:

give it some spin

is there some kind of Olympic games being held that our blog is being featured on a jumbotron?

check out our latest blog traffic (don't worry, i don't know who you are reading this, it's not that detailed.. wish it was...)





we're like the UN over here... do you think i can get a job at the UN if i show them my blog traffic?

The Nosepicker Effect

Back in college, my friend Krista told me this life theory that I now refer to as The Nosepicker Effect.

When you're a kid, and the boy that picks his nose likes you, you're all "Ew gross!", and when he wipes his boogers on you, you want NOTHING to do with him. Cause he's the nosepicker and all.

THEN, when said Nosepicker stops liking you, and moves on to that saucy redheaded slut in his monday-wednesday-friday evening daycare, you get sad, and you're all "NOW THE NOSEPICKER DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ME...life is..so hard..." but then you forget about it after naptime.

Ladies, the Nosepicker Effect is still present at age 22.

Except, it's 22 times worse.


And there is no naptime.



Did that make sense?

Good.

too. many. options. social. malfunction asldkjfa,mc

So it used to be that you could only really chat with your friends on the internet through AIM/ichat.

Now, we have Facebook chat, Gchat, and even Twitter (depending on if your friends use it enough.) I'm struggling to socialize through the internet now. Some friends prefer aim, some prefer facebook chat, some gchat, and i'm juggling 3 - 4 different pages of conversations.

sometimes my friend dave has to jump on another thing, or 2 other things, to get me to come back to AIM, which is his medium of choice. see below.






i like how his pictures vary from that statue of David... to ashton kutcher.

The closest to a child that I will ever come to.

Make sure your volumes up. Oxford Dic's got their shit together.

http://www.savethewords.org/

has it come to this?

Oh hello Good Karma

nice.

john mayer = d-bag

yeah i follow him on twitter. total dbag. sry K.




?????????

new role model: lady gaga

my age (22), successful, rebellious, hot, motivated, general lover of life

everything i'm not

alex d's hating

fuckthat.com

my mom only worries about my when it's unnecessary.

background: i cut my finger yesterday afternoon at work with an xacto (?) knife, and sent a picture of it to my mom with my iphone. mistake.




A TERRIBLE INFECTION THAT COULD ENTER YOUR BLOODSTREAM OR GO TO YOUR HEART OR BRAIN!!!!

CracksList

So my friend Alex and I put up this ad on craigslist, 3/4 kiddingly, 1/4 seriously. We got about a bazillion responses. here's some of my favorites. commentary in red.

I prefer the Beatles Cover Band

I don't know what it is, but I witness so many superfreaks both to and from my commute to work. ESPECIALLY on the M21 bus, but the L train platform is the second worst breeding ground for looney toons.

today's sighting, a pink monkey and a cookie monster playing the xylophone.


also, has anyone ever bought a Churro on the subway platform? i've always been tempted, but they probably have superfreak germs on them, not that that'd stop me, sadly.

Via the X

My heart hurts listening to this.

Beck - True Love will find you in the end. BTDub: Saw him in concert. He was God.

so precious

via the sartorialist

turning boys to men and then back again

i just want to get confirmation of the greatness of this song. i know this is the second time i'm posting it, but i don't care. i'm endorsing. PB&J.


it's one of those weeks where i dont want to do anything but work and go to the gym so this weekend is extra spectacular, double-time spectacular, due to lack of spectacularness during the week. i do not even want to see watchmen on imax this week. actually, i don't want to see watchmen, ever. am i normal? speaking of the gym, this is one of the best facebook stati (plural of status, says me) i've seen in a while. "food for thought" if you will:

did i get roofied and interviewed without my consent?

So after clicking this weeks article in NY Mag's Sex Diaries I seriously couldn't read past the first 3 paragraphs because it reminded me so much of myself i couldn't bear to see where it's going. you can read the rest here, though, don't tell me how it turns out.

MADE: Nun

i just spent an awkward amount of time on the Nun wikipedia page and, albeit a low point, i think itd be pretty sweet to be a nun. no man problems, no wardrobe problems, no bad hairdays, save $$ on birth control, living a life of contemplation, etc. etc. i think MTV should have an episode of made: i want to be a nun. i'd watch it. or DVR it at least, whichever.

my parents facebook walls: creative outlet & modern day obituary

written on my Mom's facebook wall:

Facebook Event for the funeral, anyone?

dad's facebook status:

nice, dad. and so interesting. the ellipses make it kinda mysterious....